Grief Counseling

What do you say to a friend who has experienced the loss of a believing loved one?

John 11:17-37

Jesus and Martha

• Jesus arrived four days after the funeral.
• Martha, upon hearing that Jesus was coming, left the house of mourners and went to him.
• Her expression of confidence in the healing power of Jesus is straightforward; so also is her confidence in his ability to received whatever he asks in prayer.
• Jesus, almost in answer to her confidence in his ability to pray, tells her that Lazarus will rise again.  After all, had she not said that he would get whatever he asks in prayer? Then he will pray for the resurrection of Lazarus.
• Once confident, Martha declares her knowledge of the end-of-the-world resurrection of her brother. Jesus reveals that he is the resurrection and the life—no need to wait longer, to look further.
• Does she believe this? She simply answers she believes Jesus to be the Christ, the Son of God, who was promised (by the prophets).
• Martha then went home, leaving Jesus. Once home, she quietly instructed Mary to go to Jesus.

Jesus and Mary

• Mary left immediately, followed by well-meaning friends.
• Falling at the feet of Jesus, Mary also expresses confidence that Jesus could have saved Lazarus. One wonders whether the sisters weren’t complaining that Jesus had not prevented the death of Lazarus.
• She was weeping. Her friends were weeping. Jesus wept (v. 35).
• The Jews saw the weeping of Jesus as a sign of his great love for Lazarus; and some of them wondered aloud whether Jesus could have prevented the death of Lazarus (v. 37).

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“He whom thou lovest is sick.”

When a loved one is deathly ill, what do you do?

John 11:1-16

The sad news (v. 1-6)

• Lazarus, Mary and Martha — siblings
• Mary, who anointed the Lord with ointment
• Sisters appeal to Jesus on behalf of their sick brother.
• Why did Lazarus become ill? For the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified. Death was not the ultimate end.
• Though the message appealed to Jesus’ love of Lazarus, we learn that Jesus loved Mary and Martha as well.

“Let us go…” (v. 7-10)

• After a two-day delay, Jesus instructed his disciples that it was time to go to Bethany of Judea.
• The disciples object, citing Jesus’ safety.
• Jesus counters that when the day arrives, a man walks lest he stumble in the night. Obviously his day had arrived.

They thought (v. 11-16)

• Jesus spoke of sleep. The disciples didn’t realize he meant death.
• They thought Lazarus was well and resting.
• Jesus spoke plainly, “Lazarus is dead.”
• He expects that what they are about to witness will make them believe.

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The Reality Of Forgiveness And Good Works

Don’t think too highly of yourself.

Luke 17:1-10

Offenses and forgiveness (v. 1-4)

• Sovereignty tells us that offenses will come. But men are still responsible for their sin (v. 1).
• What could be worse than drowning? Being guilty of causing young believers to stumble in their faith! (v. 2)
• You cannot forgive someone who does not repent. God doesn’t. (v. 3)
• Understanding human frailty, we must not think that forgiveness is one-time-only (v.4).

Faith’s possibilities (v. 5-6)

• The apostles realized that rebuking trespassing brethren and forgive repentant ones as often as necessary would require great faith. The asked for an increase in their own (v.5).
• Jesus hints that what they need is not more faith, but to have real faith. (v. 6).

What do you have to say for yourself? (v. 7-10)

• “Which of you…?” When Jesus appeals to our common experience you can expect a very basic but profound lesson.
• Certainly none of us would treat his servants any differently from what Jesus suggests (v. 8-9).
• It may not qualify as a positive self image, but Jesus advises a reality check (v. 10). Even if you were to obey all of Gods commandments, you’ve only done what was your duty. You have no currency to bargain your way into heaven.

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The Rich Man And Lazarus

Sometimes called the parable of Dives, this narrative is not called a parable by Jesus, and its details are many more than those found in his many parables.

Luke 16:19-31

A rich man unconcerned (v. 19-22)

• He was rich. He dressed well, and he ate well.
• He didn’t offer to help his “neighbor”, the poor, sore-laden beggar that daily sat by his gate asking for crumbs.
• After a time, both men died.

A rich man tormented (v. 23-26)

• In hell, the rich man was hot and thirsty.
• His request for assistance was denied.
• Although his body was dead, he was mentally aware and able to remember his past. Scary thought!

A rich man concerned (v. 27-31)

• When his physical pain was sure to be unalleviated, his thoughts turned to his family.
• One wonders whether this concern for his brothers wasn’t in some part related to the influence that he had in their neglecting the word of God.
• Mistakenly, he believed that the word of God was insufficient to lead a man away from hell. He was told directly that men who won’t believe the scriptures wouldn’t believe a person who came back from the dead to speak to them.

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